Welcome 2014

Happy New Year! and all that Jazz.

It's been a while since I blogged; not for the want of writing, but because my computer was a bit messed up with viruses and pop-up adds that prevented me from posting.  All resolved now thanks to a family friend who had his arm twisted in helping me sort it. Well I am his wife's Midwife, so I think he felt he better help if he wants me to turn up on the big day!

2013 - what an amazing year.  We travelled, we campaigned, we laughed, we cried and we were a family muddling through life very much together.  I'm not sure a great deal of learning or 'home ed' took place, as there were many times when the only sound in the house was my fingers on the key board (working on the campaign) accompanied by my "Shhhs - I am working".  Some people reassured me my children would be learning so much from me.  Like Fuck.  They learn't how the back of my head looked and that campaigning to save a profession against a Government who knows NOTHING about birth and woman's choice is a bloody nightmare.  Still, we've nearly won so I guess that was worth it.

So 2014 was rung in; for us it was the wonderful Gary Barlow (I Love Gary) and the the Fireworks on the TV.  Perfect.

As we look ahead to the next 12 months, we are full of excitement for all the year holds.  2012 was a very challenging year, so to have had lots of blessings in 2013 makes us more positive for the year ahead.  Anything is possible if you believe, and we are sending out lots of energy for a year of possibility's.  This might include a house move, a book and some travelling.  Not sure in which order, but I am sure that wine will be involved somewhere.

Sophie is steadily working towards some GCSE under tutors whilst Lily, Noah and I are planning some interesting projects.  I will be doing less campaign work so that I can really support them this year in their learning journeys and have already ordered the resources to support us for the Spring Term (watch this space for more regular posts).  I also have some plans for me too (no, not a baby), just personal goals I put aside in 2013 for the campaign.

I got side-tracked in 2013 with spending and consumerism again,so this year I a really want to focus on living with less and what really matters.  My inspirations for 2014 are:

Be More with Less

Bravewriter

Susannah Conway

More Yoga

It starts with Food

Self-development


I look forward to sharing our journey with you.
Sending you positivity for 2014.

angela xx

Baby it's cold outside!

My lovely log fire

Brrrr.... its cold, wet and windy.  I love this weather when I am tucked up next to the fire, but am not so keen when I need to go outside (which is proving tricky when you need to try and toilet train a puppy!).  I feel our home education for December is going to be focused around two main activities: Christmas Crafts in the morning and XMAS 24 (the Christmas Movie channel) by the fire in the afternoon.  These combined with our mince pie tasting challenge sounds like a good all round curriculum.

Last week I hosted a Sewing Workshop; we made Christmas Hearts with all the children having the chance to use the sewing machine.  I also took time to help a home-ed mum clean up and oil her old machine, followed by a quick tutorial on using it.  Since the workshop, Lily has got the sewing bug and has made some beautiful hearts to hang on our tree;  we also picked up some lovely fabric and will be making some Christmas Bunting (details to be posted later).  The local library had some lovely books on different craft ideas and we found one aimed for quite young children but with beautiful (simple) ideas to make . Over the next few weeks we are going to make some of the projects and I have also downloaded a calendar of ideas from the brilliant Nature Detectives website; we will keep you posted on our different projects.

Busy at the workshop

It's in the detail

Finished hearts

Last year we did some lovely Christmas activities including a Victorian Servants Christmas Workshop,  a day trip to London to see the lights and a visit to Richmond Theatre to see Cinderella in panto.  This year will be a lot more low key; not working for 6 months has meant a lot less money and the puppy also prevents full days out.  We don't mind having less money (mostly) as it means we are becoming more resourceful and creative, and personally I think there is something really lovely about home made gifts and decorations.  We feel more appreciative of what we do have, and afternoons snuggled together with hot chocolates, a board game and home-made laughter are just as enjoyable.

We started of the countdown to Christmas with a festive Carrot cake made by Lily......

angela x

The possibilities of change

The past twelve months has been the hardest, scariest, most exciting, difficult and amazing journey of my life, and I am sensing a 'size-mic' shift in our family and where we are heading.

I have been on a personal journey of growth and change since Noah was born; having my child at home made me start to question the 'establishment', the 'norm', and ever since then this has pretty much been a theme of mine; to question, to try and see things through a 'different' lens, to explore some of the alternatives.  It makes life interesting, it can make life harder, but somehow it always ends up feeling 'good' - instinctively 'right'.

So this year, my core beliefs are up for questioning again!  When my lovely hubby and I started out on our journey of 'married life', these where our goals:

• Children
• A four-bedroom detached house (witn en-suite)
• Two nice cars on the drive
• Holidays 
• Nice 'things'

A normal list, the suburban dream right?  The thing is, we've done all of that, and somehow I don't feel fulfilled by any of it.  This is what I see instead:

• Individuals who are vying to be heard
• A large house that needs cleaning and maintenance, and a mortgage that is a noose around our necks
• A nice car that cost a fortune to run
• Expensive holidays that you spend all year wishing away time to get to - and then the rest of the year paying off!
• Stuff

I have often swung between wishing and trying to be more 'authentic', and then idealising the 'modern dream', but the events this year have finally shown me that actually, my heart and soul is with being authentic. In conclusion, Modern life sucks.  

So, with the help of wonderful new book, we are starting the change; we are working our way towards a different list, a different way of demonstrating success, a more 'authentic' way of being:

• A family who are connected, but learning to walk their own paths
  (loving, sharing and letting go)
• A small home to keep us warm and safe
  (small mortgage, less cleaning, more time to pursue mindful living)
• One car
  (a reliable, inexpensive car without huge monthly commitments)
• Trips
  (visiting places, having experiences, winter camping.  NO post-holiday bills to clear!)
• Living with what we need - not want we 'want'
  (less stuff to organise, clean, sort, pay for etc etc)

This month we are clearing out, de-cluttering, letting-go of things that we simply do not need.  I personally have decided to take the 'project333' and have whittled down my wardrobe (a challenge I can tell you!) and have another few things to go..... but it is already feeling very liberating.  We are taking on one room at a time, and we will then re-do those rooms, and then re-do those rooms again!  We have challenged the children too, and will be introducing the '30-day' rule; if you want something, wait for 30 days, and then if you still want it / need it, then you can buy it (if you have saved the money).  

Our goal will take time to 'reach', but the real learning is not in getting 'there', but in the journey we take; re-finding who we are, making space and time for the things that are really important to us, connecting with our souls, reducing our consumption of stuff, letting-go of societal norms.

I also have the personal challenge of letting-go of some of my baggage, of grieving and healing; lately I have been feeling angry and hurt that when people ask me how I am, they don't really ask me how I am, or really take the time to listen.  That maybe, because I blog, because 7 months have passed since mum died, because I am getting on with life, I am OK.    I AM NOT OK - just in case you were wondering.  I am angry, very angry, really angry, gigantically angry, and in case you weren't sure - I'M ANGRY.  And I'm hurting.  It's like my heart has been ripped out, mashed about, squashed and then shoved back in - and I am supposed to be OK.  That after all this time I should have 'closure'.  So, after watching this amazing lecture, I have learnt that I don't need closure, I just need to heal, I just need to be.  I have decided it is time to have counselling to help me voice my emotions around the loss and death of my mother; I have decided that I don't want to parent with anger any more; I have realised it is my problem that people don't ask, and that by working towards our new 'goals', I will have the time to take care of me, my family and invest in those around me who fill my heart and soul and totally 'get' where I am at. (Rant over).

So, in summary, our learning journey for the next few months is about living with less, loving with more, and defining our own (not the 'norm') terms of success.  

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

angela xx

Home Grown Happiness

Our little family has been on a roller coaster journery over the past 12 months, learning about homeed, learning about each other, learning to think (even more widely) outside of the main stream box;  I have been challanged beyond what I thought I was capable off, tired beyond belief on days, energised and revitalised on others.  These experiences have strengthened me - all of us - deeply.

Unexpectedly however, our home education journey has become more than opting out of state education in order to support our children; for many years we have danced around the edge of a more 'meaning-full' way of living, often asking ourselves the question 'is there more to life than this?'.  We have swayed between having nurturing, eco-strong, mindful approaches to life, and then back to a consumer driven, 4x4 driving (I do miss my ML a little though!), disposable life-style.   But something has changed - a road to Damascus moment perhaps - and we find ourselves not just dancing around the edge of living a mind-full life, but wishing to jump right on in to the dance floor and feel the music entirely!

So, like the butterflies I wrote about, we are slowly emerging from a chrysalis and thinking about our lives on a more concious level, and we have started on a process of change.  I have been hugely inspired by several things of late:

• an article in 'The Mother' entitled 'The Shadow Mother
• my time at The Mother Camp with my dearest, soulful, beautiful friend
• the book 'Women who run with Wolves'
• this amazing blog 'Rowdy Kittens' 
• the book 'The Life Organizer'  

You know you have struck a chord when something leaps of a page, grabs you and then - unexplainabley - causes you to cry, sob and release something that has been stuck, but you just didn't realise it.

"....accepting and embracing your quirky, dented, perfectly imperfect individual self".

Happiness is home-grown; it is found in the moments of quiet when your child is sleeping peacefully next to you.  It's in the morning walks when you take the time to notice the beauty that is under your nose.  It's in the repairing of a favourite t-shirt, the hand-made gifts, the stitches of the knitted baby hat, the eating of the chocolate courgette cake (made with love, using home grown vegetables).   It's in the warmth from the chiminea in the garden, whilst sitting under the stars.  It's in smile from the person you say good morning to - even though you don't know them.  It's in the sharing of a cup of tea with an old friend over the kitchen table.    Happiness does not come from money (just enough helps), or stuff (do I really need that), or shopping (is what your buying encouraging child labour), or watching other peoples lives on TV (reality 'stars' WTF?).  It does not come from living a life that makes you feel tired, that disconnects you from who you are, from your children, from your heart.

So, as we follow a a different path on our life journey, I hope to share our adventures with you.  We all have choices we can make (and I hope with my heart not to find myself judging others who make different choices to us),  but we dream we can find that there really is more to life than the modern worlds current approach.

Love angela xx