Resilience

It often stuns me with how amazing human beings are, and how we have the ability to experience and express such a vast array of emotions, and to learn from these.  We are slowly easing back into our new 'term' and already we learning a huge lesson this week; that love, grief, anxiety and joy and a supportive environment can all lead to develop a strong sense of resilience. 

Bodhi, our beautiful, bouncy rescue dog is leaving us.  After much thought -  and not without huge efforts from all of us - we have had to make the painful decision to return him to Battersea.  Although Bodhi settled really well into our family (not easy with three energetic children around him all the time!), there had been a gradual decline in his socialisation skills over the past 6 weeks.  Bodhi would become very aggressive around other dogs (any dog, including friends), Bodhi was very anxious whenever someone new came into the home, and despite our best efforts to stop this, Bodhi was unable to control his excitement and would continue to nip the children.  What this meant, is that the children were unable to walk Bodhi due to his aggression, he would bark and bark and bark at friends coming into our home, and we were becoming increasingly concerned that he would (unwittingly) hurt a small child.

We consulted with a behaviour therapist and learnt that Bodhi was in an extreme state of anxiety; we implemented all the techniques advised and whilst there was a huge improvement, it was the concerns about his aggression with other dogs, his 'nipping', and the huge stress it was placing on us as a family  that culminated in our decision to return Bodhi.

So, back to our current lesson; building resilience in children was one of my objectives in my time managing the local sure-start centre.  There are lots of theories and evidence-based ways on achieving this and it's a multi-faceted approach; perhaps our gift from Bodhi has been the literal meaning of his name - the buddhist from enlightenment (this was a fluke, as we actually named him after Patrick Swayzes' character in 'Point Break') and he has awakened in us a sense of love - and suffering.

We are not thinking about replacing Bodhi at the moment as its all too raw; instead we will focus on all the good things Bodhi brought into our lives; all the things we can enjoy again (walks without worrying for his anxiety levels); and send out positive thoughts that he will be re-homed into a quiet(er) family, with a huge outdoor space for him to enjoy, and perhaps with lots of work, enable him to build his resilience to ease his anxiety.


angela x