Sunday, 30 September 2012
Holidays
We have been on our holidays this week to beautiful West Wittering.... so instead of a blog I shall let the pictures do the talking:
Thursday, 20 September 2012
Happiness is......
For some reason, this week has felt quite hard for me. I can't quite put my finger on what it is exactly - is it the loss of Bodhi, the new term, juggling too many things, my body's unwillingness to be a size 10 - or perhaps it's a combination of all of these things and more. Either way, I have the feeling that despite my best efforts not to, it is so easy to get caught back into the 'race' trap. I'm not sure what the finishing line 'is' exactly, but the pressure to get there is sometimes tangible, and raises those little questions that quietly nag in the back of your mind until before you realise it, they've grown into this big cloud of anxiety hovering about your very being. You probably know what some of those questions are......
Happiness is the quiet before my children wake
Happiness is the sun dancing on the leaves outside my window
Happiness is chocolate cake
Happiness is tea in my favourite mug made each morning by my lovely husband
Happiness is the crisp pages of a new book
Happiness is climbing into my bed at the end of the day
Happiness is cuddles from my children at an unexpected moment
Happiness is warming my feet by the fire, knitting in hand
Happiness is catching up with friends over a good coffee (soya latte please)
Happiness is watching a new mother look into her baby's eyes for the first time
I think all the learning for the moment that the children and I need is centre on this for a while, and for them to create their own list. What are your 'happiness is... moments?
angela x
am I doing enough? am I a good mother? why do I feel lonely? am I failing my children? does my bum look big in this? (ok, maybe that's not an important question, but its still there!), are my children doing ok? are we 'learning' enough? should we do more? less? will we ever pay the mortgage? how can I be a better wife / friend / mother?.....I hope your getting the drift with that. Stilling the mind and stepping off that race track is tricky, so I'm not going to try and analyse it, instead I am going to change the subject. One of the blogs I follow has inspired me to write a 'Happiness is..... ' list. So this is mine:
Happiness is the quiet before my children wake
Happiness is the sun dancing on the leaves outside my window
Happiness is chocolate cake
Happiness is tea in my favourite mug made each morning by my lovely husband
Happiness is the crisp pages of a new book
Happiness is climbing into my bed at the end of the day
Happiness is cuddles from my children at an unexpected momentHappiness is warming my feet by the fire, knitting in hand
Happiness is catching up with friends over a good coffee (soya latte please)
Happiness is watching a new mother look into her baby's eyes for the first time
I think all the learning for the moment that the children and I need is centre on this for a while, and for them to create their own list. What are your 'happiness is... moments?
angela x
Thursday, 13 September 2012
home education: what on earth is that?
This week, I had a dentist appointment. My dentist was asking me about how the children were getting on back at school; I explained that they weren't at school and that for various reasons we now home educate. My dentist was concerned about how I cover the curriculum, and will the children be able to 'integrate' in later life. I loved that question (not), but it's just one of several I have had about 'what we do', so I thought I would take some time to write a bit about how the Horler Home-ed (unschooling) works and highlight our 'home education philosophy' that reminds us what we are trying to achieve.
Our 'Terms'
We loosely base our terms on the standard school year, although we can choose to start and stop whenever we feel. We have a short break booked for the end of September, and by being 'out of season' it means that its cheaper, quieter and on our own terms (yay!).
This year we will finish our 'learning' by the end of November; throughout the month of December we can focus on doing season related crafts and trips, make our preparations for Christmas and spend a lot of time in front of the fire.
Our Weeks
We have regular activities each week. This term we have:
I plan a lose theme for each week, and have arranged field-trips to support the theme. This is where the unschooling bit comes in; I do not require the children to write a report, to read about where we are going, to make a leaflet or plan a project. In fact, the only thing I require is that they come on the trips with enthusiasm and enjoy it with consideration to those around them. Why do I not expect them to do some work? because, I have learnt that when I require them to do something, they almost immediately 'switch off', or they expect me to spoon-feed some sort of lesson plan. Firstly, I am way too busy (lazy) to do that, and secondly, if they are not really interested, then they won't learn. Full-stop. Education is not about me providing information of tasks, it is much more than that, and this article seems to sum it up pretty well! The part I love best is this:
What I have found, is that if they are interested, the retain information relevant to them, and they usually then seek a way of finding out more and initiating their own project around that, and will invite me to help them or I will offer to support them if I feel they need some guidance. It does take energy (and sometimes I don't offer myself as much as I would like) but we are still learning about this new way of learning - together!
Our day-to-day
Our aim is to be washed, dressed and breakfasted by 9am (but this is flexible, especially if its cold outside). Then we 'start' our day. As Sophie is choosing to study for three GCSE's this year (art, biology and maths) we do have 'lessons' for these; art and maths are out-sourced with tutors, and Biology is with me. These subjects are covered in the 'formal' and traditional method of learning and are scheduled into the week. We are also learning Spanish this year (as their grand-father is Spanish, we figured it's about time!) and this is also 'formalish' learning, but I am trying to make it as fun and interesting as possible.
The rest of the day we potter, read, write letters, practice piano / guitar, maybe watch an interesting programme, participate in art, bake, talk, talk some more, garden, walk, look up information on the internet, read some more, play (hugely under-estimated as essential for development), go out, visit friends, visit the library, visit local museums etc etc. I do wonder how we used to fit school in! I have also created an 'idea-wall', using a photo-pocket hanger; at the start of the week I pop in cards with ideas of things they can do in the week (I totally stole this idea - hands-up). This way, they have a reminder of things they can do in their own time (and leave me in peace for approximately 41 seconds until they need some form of help)....
Whilst on the surface this looks like we don't really do much, it comes back (again) to the premise that children learn all the time. They have years to work out what really interests them, and if they are inspired to learn, and are able to instigate and govern their own learning, when the time comes they will work towards gaining the relevant qualifications to ensure they meet their educational goals.
To see how that is all put into place, here is this weeks break down:
Saturday: we organised a wood-work morning. This was a really great morning and the chidren (and parents) loved it! We had a whittling corner, a logging corner and after a break, family groups made bird-feeder tables. We rounded off the morning with damper bread cooked on the chiminea.
Monday: a dentist appointment for me in the morning, then in the afternoon we made some GCSE plans and ordered some resources. Lily and Noah spent the afternoon building a camp in the living room.
Tuesday: We started the morning with some Spanish, creating posters and labelling our favourite things (!Mis cosas favoritas!), followed by an explanation from their Abuelo (my father) on the Spanish alphabet. The afternoon involved Teen group for the girls and a trip to the skate park for Noah. Our american friends came for tea so that was our multi-cultural lesson!
Wednesday: Maths for Sophie all morning and chiropractors for the rest of us. This weeks 'theme' was local history, so in the afternoon we headed off to Chertsey Museum and enjoyed the exhibition on the history of St Peters Hospital. This led to a search for the original 'Botley Mansion' where SPH originated from, then on the Addlestone Cemetary to see where my family are buried and to find the oldest gravestone we could (18something).
Thursday: this morning was my chance to catch up with paperwork and this afternoon they all had their first Swimming and Diving lesson.
Now, if you think it all 'sounds lovely', and have visions of us singing like the Von-Trapp family, then I'm afraid your wrong. I am so not the perfect mother and on Tuesday I shouted so loudly that I think I burst some vessels in my throat. Some days, I think school would be a whole lot easier, and yes I really do miss my own time. Do I worry? you bet! I would be arrogant not to worry if I am doing the right thing - but are you totally confident in your choice of schooling or what you are doing? Probably not. What I am sure about is that my children will be able to integrate and that they will have an education (of sorts).
We all want the best for our children and we don't always get it right - we just have to keep trying, knowing that it's OK to make mistakes and there are lots of different ways of doing things. This is just our way and just what we do (currently)!
angela xx
Our 'Terms'
We loosely base our terms on the standard school year, although we can choose to start and stop whenever we feel. We have a short break booked for the end of September, and by being 'out of season' it means that its cheaper, quieter and on our own terms (yay!).
This year we will finish our 'learning' by the end of November; throughout the month of December we can focus on doing season related crafts and trips, make our preparations for Christmas and spend a lot of time in front of the fire.
Our Weeks
We have regular activities each week. This term we have:
- Tuesdays: 'Teen' group (for local home-ed teenagers to meet and socialise)
- Wednesday (alternate): Local home-ed group with History of Art session attached
- Thursday: Swimming & Diving lessons
- Friday: (alternate): Ice-skating
I plan a lose theme for each week, and have arranged field-trips to support the theme. This is where the unschooling bit comes in; I do not require the children to write a report, to read about where we are going, to make a leaflet or plan a project. In fact, the only thing I require is that they come on the trips with enthusiasm and enjoy it with consideration to those around them. Why do I not expect them to do some work? because, I have learnt that when I require them to do something, they almost immediately 'switch off', or they expect me to spoon-feed some sort of lesson plan. Firstly, I am way too busy (lazy) to do that, and secondly, if they are not really interested, then they won't learn. Full-stop. Education is not about me providing information of tasks, it is much more than that, and this article seems to sum it up pretty well! The part I love best is this:
"What truly makes a person educated is that they are able to perceive accurately, think clearly, and act effectively according to self-defined (my emphasis) goals and aspirations. An educated person is also respectful of others regardless of their power and status, responsible for the results of their actions, and resourceful at getting what they need, both, personally and for their family, organization, and /or society."
What I have found, is that if they are interested, the retain information relevant to them, and they usually then seek a way of finding out more and initiating their own project around that, and will invite me to help them or I will offer to support them if I feel they need some guidance. It does take energy (and sometimes I don't offer myself as much as I would like) but we are still learning about this new way of learning - together!
Our day-to-day
Our aim is to be washed, dressed and breakfasted by 9am (but this is flexible, especially if its cold outside). Then we 'start' our day. As Sophie is choosing to study for three GCSE's this year (art, biology and maths) we do have 'lessons' for these; art and maths are out-sourced with tutors, and Biology is with me. These subjects are covered in the 'formal' and traditional method of learning and are scheduled into the week. We are also learning Spanish this year (as their grand-father is Spanish, we figured it's about time!) and this is also 'formalish' learning, but I am trying to make it as fun and interesting as possible.
The rest of the day we potter, read, write letters, practice piano / guitar, maybe watch an interesting programme, participate in art, bake, talk, talk some more, garden, walk, look up information on the internet, read some more, play (hugely under-estimated as essential for development), go out, visit friends, visit the library, visit local museums etc etc. I do wonder how we used to fit school in! I have also created an 'idea-wall', using a photo-pocket hanger; at the start of the week I pop in cards with ideas of things they can do in the week (I totally stole this idea - hands-up). This way, they have a reminder of things they can do in their own time (and leave me in peace for approximately 41 seconds until they need some form of help)....
 |
| Idea-wall |
 |
| Our week planner |
To see how that is all put into place, here is this weeks break down:
Saturday: we organised a wood-work morning. This was a really great morning and the chidren (and parents) loved it! We had a whittling corner, a logging corner and after a break, family groups made bird-feeder tables. We rounded off the morning with damper bread cooked on the chiminea.
 |
| Whittling |
 |
| Logging / axing |
 |
| Working on the bird feeder |
 |
| Concentration! |
 |
| Cooking damper! |
 |
| adding the jam - Yum! |
Monday: a dentist appointment for me in the morning, then in the afternoon we made some GCSE plans and ordered some resources. Lily and Noah spent the afternoon building a camp in the living room.
Tuesday: We started the morning with some Spanish, creating posters and labelling our favourite things (!Mis cosas favoritas!), followed by an explanation from their Abuelo (my father) on the Spanish alphabet. The afternoon involved Teen group for the girls and a trip to the skate park for Noah. Our american friends came for tea so that was our multi-cultural lesson!
Wednesday: Maths for Sophie all morning and chiropractors for the rest of us. This weeks 'theme' was local history, so in the afternoon we headed off to Chertsey Museum and enjoyed the exhibition on the history of St Peters Hospital. This led to a search for the original 'Botley Mansion' where SPH originated from, then on the Addlestone Cemetary to see where my family are buried and to find the oldest gravestone we could (18something).
 |
| The Botley Mansion in the grounds of Homewood Park |
Thursday: this morning was my chance to catch up with paperwork and this afternoon they all had their first Swimming and Diving lesson.
Now, if you think it all 'sounds lovely', and have visions of us singing like the Von-Trapp family, then I'm afraid your wrong. I am so not the perfect mother and on Tuesday I shouted so loudly that I think I burst some vessels in my throat. Some days, I think school would be a whole lot easier, and yes I really do miss my own time. Do I worry? you bet! I would be arrogant not to worry if I am doing the right thing - but are you totally confident in your choice of schooling or what you are doing? Probably not. What I am sure about is that my children will be able to integrate and that they will have an education (of sorts).
We all want the best for our children and we don't always get it right - we just have to keep trying, knowing that it's OK to make mistakes and there are lots of different ways of doing things. This is just our way and just what we do (currently)!
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
angela xx
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Resilience
It often stuns me with how amazing human beings are, and how we have the ability to experience and express such a vast array of emotions, and to learn from these. We are slowly easing back into our new 'term' and already we learning a huge lesson this week; that love, grief, anxiety and joy and a supportive environment can all lead to develop a strong sense of resilience.
Bodhi, our beautiful, bouncy rescue dog is leaving us. After much thought - and not without huge efforts from all of us - we have had to make the painful decision to return him to Battersea. Although Bodhi settled really well into our family (not easy with three energetic children around him all the time!), there had been a gradual decline in his socialisation skills over the past 6 weeks. Bodhi would become very aggressive around other dogs (any dog, including friends), Bodhi was very anxious whenever someone new came into the home, and despite our best efforts to stop this, Bodhi was unable to control his excitement and would continue to nip the children. What this meant, is that the children were unable to walk Bodhi due to his aggression, he would bark and bark and bark at friends coming into our home, and we were becoming increasingly concerned that he would (unwittingly) hurt a small child.
We consulted with a behaviour therapist and learnt that Bodhi was in an extreme state of anxiety; we implemented all the techniques advised and whilst there was a huge improvement, it was the concerns about his aggression with other dogs, his 'nipping', and the huge stress it was placing on us as a family that culminated in our decision to return Bodhi.
So, back to our current lesson; building resilience in children was one of my objectives in my time managing the local sure-start centre. There are lots of theories and evidence-based ways on achieving this and it's a multi-faceted approach; perhaps our gift from Bodhi has been the literal meaning of his name - the buddhist from enlightenment (this was a fluke, as we actually named him after Patrick Swayzes' character in 'Point Break') and he has awakened in us a sense of love - and suffering.
We are not thinking about replacing Bodhi at the moment as its all too raw; instead we will focus on all the good things Bodhi brought into our lives; all the things we can enjoy again (walks without worrying for his anxiety levels); and send out positive thoughts that he will be re-homed into a quiet(er) family, with a huge outdoor space for him to enjoy, and perhaps with lots of work, enable him to build his resilience to ease his anxiety.
angela x
Bodhi, our beautiful, bouncy rescue dog is leaving us. After much thought - and not without huge efforts from all of us - we have had to make the painful decision to return him to Battersea. Although Bodhi settled really well into our family (not easy with three energetic children around him all the time!), there had been a gradual decline in his socialisation skills over the past 6 weeks. Bodhi would become very aggressive around other dogs (any dog, including friends), Bodhi was very anxious whenever someone new came into the home, and despite our best efforts to stop this, Bodhi was unable to control his excitement and would continue to nip the children. What this meant, is that the children were unable to walk Bodhi due to his aggression, he would bark and bark and bark at friends coming into our home, and we were becoming increasingly concerned that he would (unwittingly) hurt a small child.
We consulted with a behaviour therapist and learnt that Bodhi was in an extreme state of anxiety; we implemented all the techniques advised and whilst there was a huge improvement, it was the concerns about his aggression with other dogs, his 'nipping', and the huge stress it was placing on us as a family that culminated in our decision to return Bodhi.
So, back to our current lesson; building resilience in children was one of my objectives in my time managing the local sure-start centre. There are lots of theories and evidence-based ways on achieving this and it's a multi-faceted approach; perhaps our gift from Bodhi has been the literal meaning of his name - the buddhist from enlightenment (this was a fluke, as we actually named him after Patrick Swayzes' character in 'Point Break') and he has awakened in us a sense of love - and suffering.
We are not thinking about replacing Bodhi at the moment as its all too raw; instead we will focus on all the good things Bodhi brought into our lives; all the things we can enjoy again (walks without worrying for his anxiety levels); and send out positive thoughts that he will be re-homed into a quiet(er) family, with a huge outdoor space for him to enjoy, and perhaps with lots of work, enable him to build his resilience to ease his anxiety.
angela x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)